There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
