i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize