I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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