You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
