I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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