New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
