Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
