idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
