Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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