we're blogging at a bar
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Michael Bay diarrhea
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
