I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
