Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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