Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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