I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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