Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
