and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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