I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
