Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
