bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I fill condoms, not promises.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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