note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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