I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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