Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize