New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
