I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
