you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
