how can u be prego again
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
