I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
