as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
