I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
