you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize