and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Randomize
