you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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