She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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