When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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