This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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