Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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