just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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