how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize