Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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