u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
