Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
there is glitter all over my balls
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