Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
