he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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