Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
