just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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