mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
