If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
