Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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