It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We need to get me chipped asap
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
