two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
