i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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