she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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