I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
