I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
