Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
