DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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