the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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