Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
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