Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
