i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
