alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
