Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
