Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So. Much. Porn.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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