The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
