Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
