So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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