Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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