So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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