Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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