I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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